Why I Don’t Believe in the Postpartum Bounce Back
“Bounce back”. A phrase I hated before I had a kid and now hate even more. Because it puts pressure on a group of people that already feel the most pressure - moms.
I’m a first time mom. I think my biggest lesson so far is that every story is different- every pregnancy, every birth story, every breastfeeding journey, every recovery, and every kid… all different. So why do we try to create a one size fits all plan and standard?
I worked out my entire pregnancy. Up until the day before I got induced I was strength training - not CrossFit but more than some arm circles in a barre class (I love barre… don’t get me wrong). I planned to eat healthy and be as active as possible. But what I didn’t expect was that I would be sick everyday of my pregnancy. Not so sick that I couldn’t keep food down and had to be on medication, but sick enough that I would wake up every morning and have a nice emptying of the guts. I also kept the pretty blue vomit bags with me everywhere I went. Smells were horrible and food was not my friend. But I had to eat food constantly to not be sick. It was rough. Even though I was strength training 3x week and walking 15k steps daily, I gained 60lbs…this was the weight my body put on to support the life I was growing.
I knew the numbers that were recommended - 25-40lbs is the recommended weight gain. During my prenatal certification course while learning this info I remember thinking - “easy. I won’t put on more than 25-30lbs”. I surpassed that by month 5. In fact at month 5, I looked like I could go into labor at any point. It became the joke at the gym. “Kathleen, are you due tomorrow? Kathleen, what’s it like being 9 months pregnant the entire pregnancy? Kathleen, are you growing a linebacker?”
This was when I first started to realize that every pregnancy is different and has its own challenges. And sometimes it doesn’t matter how much you do, your body has different plans.
Next comes my birth story (which I will share more about in a separate post). I did months and months of prep work to avoid having a c section. I knew the risks. I knew what could lead to a c section. And I was going to have my natural birth my way even though I was warned my baby would be big and vaginal birth might become impossible. I didn’t care. I did the prep work. And my mom birthed a big baby naturally so I wanted to try. My body had other plans. Baby got stuck and wouldn’t move down. 35 hours of labor and we finally moved to a c section.
That was lesson 2 in things don’t always go your way when your body has a different plan and different needs.
Well, at least my recovery will be pretty easy (thought my prideful self). Because here’s the thing, I had watched so many of my colleagues recover from their births so easily. So I was convinced since I worked really hard during pregnancy that my recovery would have me back working out by 6 weeks max. (Not a full workout but some light stuff). Newsflash: My incision kept reopening. Which meant I couldn’t do much except carry my massive baby around. Which took a lot of strength.
Also, I do believe working out throughout pregnancy did help with my pregnancy and recovery. I would not have done it any differently. I’m able to move through my days without back pain. And with a large baby that wants to be held all the time, that’s super important.
Now, comes lesson number 3: I thought that I would shed the weight quickly and get right back to it all. Except, I want to breastfeed and I am an under supplier/just enough supplier. Which means if I drop my calories, my supply dips. So I’ve made the decision that for now, I want to prioritize breastfeeding even if that means weight loss will be super slow or not even happen until I stop breastfeeding. And that’s okay with me. It’s my body. It’s my baby. It’s my journey. I assume it’s much easier for oversuppliers to drop weight. Maybe I’m wrong, but that’s my assumption.
My takeaways from pregnancy to postpartum: Every body is different. Every baby is different. We have to stop comparing. We have to prioritize what is important for us and focus on that. And it will be different for everyone. So drown out the bullshit. Be proud of your body. Choose what you want to prioritize and be steadfast in that.